Thursday, September 11, 2014

Another day of life

Whatta day!!!! It is just the wee hours of the morning. Infact I haven't even properly started the day and it is already seeming a downer. Every now and then i have these days of disillusionment. Where one after another i come across more people giving up...... the pessimist in me agrees...... it is for the better,...... but the optimist in me wants to change things.

A 14 yr old is disillusioned in the puppy love. She croons sad songs and puts up stuff which say that everyone has loved someone they cant have. Isn't 14 too young to decide that???

A friend wishes to throw in the towel and move on her own. She has worked so hard in her life for everything..... now at this juncture giving up everything....... wont it be a wastage of efforts put in.  Don't we have enough responsibilities and frustrations in our lives that we want to borrow more. Will giving up help. Why is life such a fight at every stage?

Why can't people mind their own business? Why do we need to have highlights in life? Can't we just be grateful that we are moving from day to day successfully without a hitch. Life has become such a compromise. I don't remember what it was otherwise. Standing up for basic rights..... when did that become difficult or wrong. Are we just supposed to mend and move on and ignore the stitches in the middle. Can't i smoothen it all out and make it all new?

Why can't we just live for ourselves for a change? The way we want to. The way we dreamed of living.  Is that wrong to ask? Is it impossible to get?

Expecting people to stand up for me is something i have given up a long time ago still...... when somebody lets you down it still hurts.  I should have by now acquired a full non expectation armor but...... i guess i still believe in unicorns...... hahaha

My friend just shared a wonderful quote :

"If you dont like something change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."
~Maya Angelou~

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Queen..... the Rani who finds her wings !!!!

I saw Queen yesterday. The movie where Kangana Ranaut plays Rani, the main protagonist. The story is of a simple and "GOOD" girl who gets dumped at the altar by her bf of many years..... only to embark on a journey to her pre arranged honeymoon to Paris and Amsterdam all by herself, meeting people who are totally different from her, beating thugs in paris, selling golgappas in amsterdam and finding herself in the process.

The character of rani is so beautifully balanced. Though she comes from an orthodox indian background..... where at every juncture in life she is told what to do by her parents or her fiancee or her friends....... she totally accepts the other people she meets on her journey without wanting to change them. Yes she is scandalised on more than one occasion. Be it when she finds her new friend sleeping with lots of men or when she meets the stripper at amsterdam or when she has to  share a room with three other men at a hostel. But her journey to discovering independence for herself is beautiful.

Her non judgemental attitude stands out. Be it the waitress who has a child out of wedlock or the stripper in amsterdam who is waiting for a package from her mother from home or her mother in law who thinks she shd join the kitty party. She takes people at face value. People are the same world wide. People from all parts of the world whoever they are..... are scared of lizards..... i think tht is what we need to realise. Color language sex dont really matter. The humor in the movie is totally not lost on the audience infact it is superbly timed and keeps the audience glued..... asking more. The total lack of melodrama and the punju crass makes it more appealing to me. The simplicity of the main protagonist is outstanding..... it makes her more endearing to u.

For me the movie is about finding wings......  every girl needs to find her wings and shd know to fly..... every guy needs it too but girls need it more than them. Because at every juncture in life they are forced to prove themselves and at tht time it helps to know your true potential.  Nothing can beat the independence of soaring high and feeling you can do everything and achieve everything.

The movie was also about finding goodness in the seemingly worst situations. The best part of the movie was not making a love equation between the main protagonist and the guys she meets on her journey. She lets them be for what they were. Friends on a journey who share moments of time together and help each other close traumatic chapters of their life and discover themselves..... and then move on with a promise to keep in touch...... you really dont need to marry everybody u come in contact with u no. It was a fresh breath of breather from the other bollywood movies where getting hooked up is soooo necessary.

I personally think every woman shd take a trip like this one atleast once in her life..... without the cocoon of protection from family and relatives. I loved the last scene where she hands back the ring to her fiancee and thanks him. I had a smile for all the 15 kms ride back home. I think i am inspired enuf to go to a trip like that one.

I would give the movie a 10 out of 10...... full paisa wasool.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Forgive yourself....... as you would forgive your neighbours.

All through school and college...... one thing was dinned into my mind by teachers parents..... never point a finger at others. Point it at yourself. When you point a finger at others remember the other fingers are pointing at you. So on and so forth. Until we reached a stage where we were told that never find fault with others. All the fault remains with only one person...... that is you. To the extent that we hate our own existence on planet earth. It is very easy to convince such a person that Hiroshima Nagasaki and tsunami happened because of one and only one reason....... YOU...... just because you lived on this planet....... your existence caused it....... you are responsible. The fact that I wasn't born then does not really hold any significance...... could be preamble to my birth. 

I think they over did it...... self recrimination is such a common thing that these days they teach us about forgiving yourself. Let go...... being benevolent towards ourselves. Louise Hay in most of her books talks about the same thing. She explains that most diseases that ail us today are a mirror to the hatred we have of our selves. We r too demanding of our selves and expect super human skills..... which is an absolute mirage. The dissatisfaction that we have of our selves is today reached a point that we need to look at ourselves from other peoples point of view to reach the "I'm-not-so-bad" place. We look at ourselves not from our own eyes but that of somebody else and accept their judgement whatever it may be. We can be non judgmental about the world at large but when it comes to ourselves...... naah...... never..... the crooked nose..... the crooked eyebrow or the increasing waistline is all we see.

These days forgiving other people for hurting you is so much easier than forgiving yourself.  You have to constantly remind yourself that you are a nice person. Remind yourself to Forgive yourself on a daily basis for not meeting your targets and not be upset with yourself for not being able to reach the Utopian place that u have set yourself to be in and forgive yourself for hurting others and also a constantly remind yourself that you are not responsible for the whole world. You are already doing your bit and stop beating yourself up for the mistakes that other people make...... That is part of their learning curve. It will only make them wiser and smarter in the long run.

The control freaks that we have become push us beyond the levels that are sometimes inhuman. We crave for a lot of stuff which are sometimes beyond our means..... but we convince ourselves that we can only be happy only if we achieve that and then push ourselves to achieving it. In the process we accumulate a lot of self hate and make very very less concessions for ourselves for not achieving it. We become our biggest critic and very less tolerant about our mistakes and spend a lot of money on long therapy sessions of standing in front of a mirror and telling yourself that I love you and that you are a nice person. 

I remember watching a Bollywood movie where the main protagonist tells "main apni favorite hu" meaning i am my favorite person. That is my favorite dialogue till date. Also there was this part where on looking in the mirror she says "you are so beautiful...... how can anybody look so beautiful".  I wish i would reach that place someday and fall in love with myself....... so i too can forgive all my so-called sins..... like i forgive everything about the people i love. If someone calls you a narcissist its their problem not yours.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Save me........ save yourself !!!!

When people cry "exploitation" or say that they are being exploited and complain and cry about it to others. I don't have the patience of feeling bad about such people. If you think you have been exploited you ask for an explanation from the exploiter and rather than playing victim and crying over it, you fight for your rights. And if you wish to continue the existence of the one exploited you should  cry over it at your convenience at your own abode. 

The victim is as much to be blamed for the exploitation as is the exploiter, simply for the simple reason that they wish to take the sacrificial mode. I understand that in most cases you might  not be able to do anything about it. But atleast speak out that you have been exploited, and refuse to be the end of any more exploitation.

Gone is the era of Sulochanas and Nirupa Roys. Today you have to stand up and fight for your own rights. If you don't do it you will be deemed as weak and only the faces of the exploiters will keep changing. Your status-quo will remain the same. That of the poor sad victim who is weak....... a person who needs protection. Is that how you wish to be mentioned???  Not me!!! Id prefer going down fighting than stay back and cry. Call it the Maratha salt in my blood but I don't budge from issues that I believe in.

I don't believe in the tolerance method by Gandhi........ waiting for the person's subconscious to alter his decision and make a better judgement. That could have been applicable in that particular era but I believe in the philosophy of non-tolerance:  "You cant take me for granted and treat me like that....... I deserve more respect....... you either give it to me or butt off from my life". 

If I give people their due, is it wrong for me to expect the same from them???

The world is round. All that goeth cometh right back. Well that might be true...... I have even seen a lot of stances of that coming true but for me waiting for the world to go around and then complete its rotation and making things equal is barbaric. Id rather speak my piece and let peace reign for the rest of my life than waiting my whole life for the other shoe to drop. I don't need people who live off other people in my life. Maybe my world gets a little smaller but I live the way I want to on my own terms.

I am not talking revenge or anything violent just the fact that "I am a person just like you and you should treat me like you treat yourself " If you think something is not good for yourself how can you take it that it would be good for me. In family I see a lot of people who would buy a very expensive dress for themselves and give away the thing that they don't like to somebody else. If they think that the dress is not fit for wearing why do the expect the other person to wear it??? Does the world have different rules for you and me???

You and you alone are responsible for yourself. If you bog down and accept it without voicing your opinion you are nothing but a coward. Because even if you don't voice it, it wont stop you from feeling cheated and bitter. I would rather speak my mind and hold my peace for life than keep feeling robbed.

For its survival every relationship should be based on a set of rules, which are equal for all. I have seen that when there are no equal rules, the relationship becomes bitter and disintegrates and falls apart at some point of time. It is deemed to break down. On the other hand a relationship with rules has boundaries and nobody is taken for granted....... nobody feels cheated. A relationship based on trust and mutual respect lasts a lifetime and even more. On the other hand a weak relation of one person encroaching on the other..... one person calling shots and the other person not getting an opportunity to have a say feels cheated and usually crumbles. 

Sulochana's and Nirupa Roys are symbols for sacrifice they usually lived in poverty were cheated felt bad about one and all and cried all the time but Shasikala always got the best clothes make up the best cars never in poverty a happy life......... What i want to reiterate is Id rather be called the bad person than sit back home and live my life subdued and all the time feeling cheated. People have to understand that every human being on earth is equal and everybody deserves to be treated well. I quote the bible here (my convent upbringing):

Mathew 7:12 :  "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."


Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Ohh to be young again

For the past few days I've been coming across a lot of people who get whimsical and melancholy when they mention their youth. The very thought of going back say twenty years made me think..... do I want to go back. What would I change??? 

When we were young all we wanted to do universally is...... to grow up. Old age at that time was anybody who was 15 years older than you. As we grew up our goals changed but we wished we reached higher in life in all spheres. Twenty years ago for anyone my age was the time for new hopes dreams ambitions a new lease that life is giving you. A time for love some budding some missed opportunities some mistakes. Ambition career..... A carefree...... stress free....... no baggage existence. You didn't ever have to use the words "You remember " ending with "I told you so" Because then there was absolutely no past........ good or bad...... just the beginning. Unlike today where it seems to have become a prefix before every sentence we use.

Most of the people I know would want to go back unerringly to the past. A whole billion and trillion dollar industry is thriving on this whimsical nature of humans. First it is the pimples they cater to and then soon when you are just about breathing a sign of relief it is the wrinkles that get to you. Crow feet get a whole new meaning..... they are no longer talking about a species of the animal planet and you actually know what botox is. You open any newspaper in any country or surf any channel in any language in any country. There will be people reminding you of that glorious time of your life...... your youth. Mothers of a grown child being called a college student. Husbands suddenly being besotted with their wives all over again...... and so on.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
Mark Twain

I recently encountered a group of mothers who wished to be called "Babes", it made them feel younger. The social networking sites are teeming with eloquent and enviable sighs of   "You are looking so young".  "You have stopped aging what is the secret"....... that, I think is supposed to make you feel happy unlike Mark Twain who thinks otherwise. 

Aging has now become a big time commercial market teeming with umpteen number of products. Just recently I visited a mall which had two floors full of only beauty products 75% of which were of anti aging products: creams food tablets shape wear you name it. 

Is aging an emotional condition or is Youth something to hold on to as the passage of time. Is living in memories a good thing or bad thing. 

For years I have seen my mother age gracefully. She has taken pride in every strand of white hair that has sprung up..... every tooth that she has lost. She has never tried to look younger. But don't we all want to get younger???

 A friend of mine told me that if he got younger again he would lose all his money and all the knowledge and experience he has gained. He was happy in his skin and the place that he is now emotionally and had all that he wanted today....... loving family friends job etc. Aging had therefore worked well for him. He was wiser and richer. Another opinion was that they could catch up on missed opportunities and undoing mistakes. Being younger opens up a wide arena of options in life which you lose out in the race for a perfect career, perfect life partner, perfect house, perfect kids, perfect retirement. Only to look back and look longingly at what could have been. Or wait for the elusive time machine to actually be invented.

Aging is a natural process so embracing it is the only way to go. It is the could have beens that haunt you. Since this is a one way path, there is no going back. Aging means you can take life real slow and don't have to be anywhere at any point of time. Because you understand that nothing can really change if you don't. Failures in life have only made you stronger. Mistakes taught you a new way to think. They have only enriched your learning curve. 

My generation saw the transition from paper to computers to laptops to tablets. For us we don't really need to study the history of processing of information. Especially in my country where we moved from a closed to a global economy.We lived history. Suddenly from watching one channel we were watching 100's. Armani gucci made their way to our shops. Unlike today's generation who will probably have to read to understand filing or will never have known life without an enter button. 

For me aging is a relief. I dont want to go back and relive the past however fabulous and glamorous it was. Going back would mean having to live all over again. go through all the travails again. Yet when I pause at the could have beens I am wistful for a moment. Living in memories is surely not healthy. But visiting them occasionally is good for the soul reminds you of what you wanted and gives you clarity of what u have to do to reach the peaceful state. 

I carry a pair of really old jeans of the bygone era wherever I go. I dont fit into it anymore but it symbolize all the events of the past.  And when I fit into it believe me....... You cant make me stop smiling. My very own anti aging product. You are after all...... as old as you think!!!

Purani jeans aur guitar........  bas yaaden yaaden yaaden reh jati hai !!!!

Monday, July 29, 2013

Mc Dream Home

My new pet project these days is "HOUSE Hunting" and man.......... is it tiring or what??? I am either on the field looking at potential apartments or researching them on the net. At other times I am thinking about them...... another very very tedious process. I haven't touched my camera since Diwali night. None of the flats I see fall into the Mc Dream Home category. Finding a dream house is like falling in love with the dream person. I am sure you think I am gross comparing these two things but seriously...... its like you love somebody's eyes or somebody's smile or somebody's dimples, somebody's sense of humor, somebody's .........  I'm definitely getting soft in the head!!!!
Just to clear the air I meant a mixture of Shahrukh Khan, Hritik Roshan, Amir Khan (not the dead singer), Salman Khan, Khalli.......?????? (now where did that come from???...... soft part of the head...... I guess!!!) whatever...... Coming back to the point..... Mc Dream Home!!! Every house I see has a certain feature that I like sometimes it is the living room sometimes the spacious bedroom sometimes the kitchen, sometimes it is the terrace or the view etc only you never find all of them in one single place.

Just like in the case with LOVE........ even if you do find McDreamy and fall in love with him...... he should love you back..... here comes affordability.  So the search is on as I scour the streets of my city braving the cold evenings and the dry and hot afternoons. Result I am down with a bad throat infection. Sometimes when I speak I have to look around to make sure that the broken creepy croaky voice is mine and don't even make me start as to when I am laughing..... I sound like the creepiest chudail (witch). I used to look like one now I even sound like one...... Any fancy dress shows coming up???

Coming back to Mc Dream Home........ the construction companies are so sly that what they put up on paper and what they actually give are two different things. The built-up area and the available carpet area differs from what they put up on paper. Most of the under construction apartments that I saw are so tiny that I had to change my mind and go for the ready possession flats. Here I can buy what I see. So much more comfortable!!!!Plus the waiting period of the possession of the flat and the builder's tantrums are something you wont have to endure. Most builders delay possession and charge an escalation plus the amenities mentioned in the brochures are grossly over rated for eg:  Landscaped gardens, children play area, Relaxation benches, senior citizens' corner, lawns, open air fitness area and jogging tracks are actually a small little teeny-meeny grassy park with a bench and some winding lanes. Gymnasiums are actually areas in the club house where a little treadmill and exercycle is kept.

The only disadvantage at this point of time is the affordability. Finance is one hell of a competing sector. Since I have posted feelers about my intention to buy a property I have been totally bogged down by brokers selling properties and finance guys offering various schemes so much that my earlier silence loving and never ringing phone does not stop ringing and there usually is somebody waiting on the other line. I have got so confused that I agree to meet somebody and hand over documentation to another..... I negotiate details with one and end up asking no demanding loan features offered from a completely different bank. It is so confusing!!!!

To top it all the brokers have been offering me everything from heritage buildings to pigeon hole homes. Just today I was offered to view a home that was older than me !!!!Most of these flats have an array of single working people or students staying on rent. The reason....... they pay more money and vacate immediately. I recently saw one house where there were four burly unshaven less clothed men lounging in the living room and when I entered more and more men seemed to keep coming out of woodwork....... so many that i completely lost count of them. As I walked around to see the house more and more men came out. All of them looking at you as if you walked into the "never seen a female" male section of Tihar jail with very very HUGE eyes. I immediately was on my toes because the house was dirty and I rejected buying it. All I could think of was : RRRRRRUUNNNNNNNN!!!!

The female students/working professionals on the other hand are better they are really neat and clean but again most properties in the market for resale are not really worth an investment. The smooth talking brokers take the cake. They make the properties on resale seem like it is the next thing after Taj Mahal and the usual all it requires is a fresh coat of paint. What they mean is pull down the walls and the plaster and also re-tile the entire floor and change all the electric fixtures and bathroom fittings and install new woodwork....... THATS ALL!!!

So my basically hunt for McDreamHome is still on but now I am armed with lots of between the lines reading knowledge and clear specific requirements about what I want in my home. So I'm ready....... bring it on!!!!!

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Aiyyyyyyyyyya........... Aiyyyyyooooooo

 Somethings make a big time change in our lives. They could be real uninteresting paltry things which we would normally ignore yet they can do wonders. In my case a STUPID movie got me back to updating my blog after almost a year.

The movie is Aiyyya and  yes as my tweet said earlier:
 "It is the most torturous thing that has happened to any Indian since Jalianwala Baug" 

If you think I am exaggerating I suggest you brave going and watching it in the theater. I consider myself really very brave. I can watch three Sunny Deol movies back to back without so much a complain and even make myself enjoy it. Not to mention Deepak Parasher and Jeetedra movies (dancing between pots) which I have seen with a smile........ BUT AIYAAAAAA........ I suddenly conformed........ prayed to all the God's........ some I didn't even know...... and prayed for deliverance from my sins. Just so I don't have to watch anything like this in any part of the rest of my life. Like the precaution that they kept showing all thru the movie at regular intervals :
 "Statutory warning : Smoking is injurious to health". 

Similarly they should also put in a statutory warning saying:
"Watch Aiyyaaa at your own risk". 

Believe me if it hadn't been so I wouldn't have been blogging at 1230 in the night to get that disgusted thing out of my head.

The story is of Meenakshi who lives in a cluttered house by a dumpster and her life stinks as that of the dumpster. But she makes her life beautiful by dreaming of beautiful things like movies. It makes everything alright in her life. The only things that she wants in life is a nice smelling room and a book to read and peace. But she is surrounded by eccentric people. Her family members are eccentric. Dad smokes three cigarettes at one time (therefore the ciggy warning), Grandmother is wheelchair bound and has a full set of gold teeth, Brother a crazy dog lover and mom just wants her daughter married hook or crook. Her co workers drink vodka from a water-bottle...... at work and dance to rowdy Bollywood numbers and swoon over John Abraham's undies. 

Her life changes with the entry of the sweet smelling Surya Iyer (Prithviraj)...... who she is enamored by. All this happens in the first 10 mins of the movie and the rest of the movie (ie 2 and half hours of freaking time) all she does is SNIFFS (yeah..... like a DOG) her way around the hero, who has no dialogues in the movie. The guy does not even lip-sync in the songs. You wait and wait and wait for him to say something but NAHHHHHHHH...... does he utter a word........... No!!!!......... and he isn't even challenged. 

The subtle nuances of the main protagonist of living in chaos and a dumpster and settling for the sweet smelling but not stable hero over the organised and stable could-have-been life partner, are totally lost and not highlighted. I understand that in retrospective if they had handled the story literally it would have been a sad old Sulochana saga but what they actually made it to was ever more sadder.......... very very very very very SAD!!!!!!!

After this movie Meenakshi can very easily get the job of a sniffer dog in the police dept. I hear the dogs there are over worked and are planning on retiring. Why would she do a movie like that???? I am still stunned by the audacity of the director to even release a movie like that. The hero, a well known name in South Indian movies, does nothing except walk through streets of Pune and dance to raunchy Hindi-Tamil numbers in Meenakshi's dream sequences....... displaying his washboard abs and NOT LIP-SYNCING. What is that about???? As far as chemistry goes........ all I can say is......... has this been part of Ekta Kapoor's saas-bahu serials, Rani Mukherjee would definitely be playing the role of grandmother to Prithviraj. ( The Hero). Aiyaaaaaa is probably Rani Mukherjee's Aiyyyooo to the world.

The movie is a fabulous example of execution of a decent plot......... going berserk. Maybe the plot itself was bad and I am trying to save face for the Rs 500 that I spent. All through the movie I kept looking for something nice but I FOUND NAUGHT. Even the popcorn tasted bad. Now I have to watch another movie to get over this one. Hoping this one will be better!!!! "Keeping my fingers crossed"

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

"Its been a good enough life"

Yesterday evening as I browsed through the newspaper the news of a techie couple committing suicide in Goa caught my eye. You can read the article here. I normally just read through and move on....... but it was this very trait of mine that made me pause and think again so much that it disturbed me.

It made me dig deeper and by morning I had read all about it including all the stuff other people had to speak about it. I agree with some questions posed by the speaking tree you can read it here and by the Telegraph who analysed the more psychological and sociological aspects of the story.

Anand and Deepa led a quiet life. I'm sure they would not want to be analysed like this or is it that they wanted and maybe people around did not care enough??? They had achieved all that they wanted to in life materially was this why life held no meaning for them??? Were they disillusioned by family ties and friends??? The circumstances of their death and their note in which they say
"We have lived a very eventful and happy life together, We’ve travelled the world, lived in different countries, made more money than we ever thought possible, and enjoyed spending as much of it as we could on things that brought us joy and satisfaction. We believe in the philosophy that our life belongs to us and only us, and we have the right to choose to die as much as we have the right to live. We leave behind no debts or liabilities.”"

Or were they so successful that they wished to control their own deaths as they had their lives??? The fact that they tore up all that they read and threw away all that they saw makes me think that they undoubtedly tried to find meaning in their life and then tore them up because all that they read were nothing but lies and made no sense to them. Eventually they went as they came.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs states that self realization is the last step in the pyramid of needs. When we reach that we are pretty much old and have lived through so much that though life has a totally new meaning by itself. My Ma for example when I regale her with stories everyday about things that are happening and stuff people do around me..... she just smiles and tells me stuff like this does not even warrant a comment from me........ it is ridiculous. It is just like the stuff I say to my niece when she tells me that she fought with some friend of hers over some real trivial matter. I guess when Maslow suggested his heirarchy of needs he timed self realisation at a time when people's experiences made them handle things differently. In Anand and Deepa's case as with most techies that I have seen........ people get a lot of money and a lot of success by the time they are in their late twenties so then after that they travel the world to get some zing and when that is even over they try to find something new...... they rely on family and friends for support and when they are disillusioned (not IF..... they always are). They take extreme steps. Trying to finding a purpose for life or finding a new meaning for life loses its charm..... Nothing surprises you....... everything seems same...... you are not shocked or excited by anything new....... and all this when you are in your twenties.

Recently a blog of mine found its place in "judges also liked this" not the first not the second or third but it was the first time that somebody thought something of my blog. Just last week my pic took second place in a flower pic challenge. In both cases I was so happy and wanted to share it with somebody and I realized that I had nobody to do it with...... It was just another thing that I would have to file into memory. Was I looking for gratification when I entered these blogs into contests??? I analysed this fact and realized that blogging and taking pics was getting boring and I wanted to feel I was going somewhere so I put it up. My question is if I don't have anybody to share my happiness with who will I share my fears, my anxiety, my troubles and my unhappiness with????

Quoting from the article
“With each success, there is a feeling of loss — loss of time and loss of value-based relationships. This is when guilt pangs work and people get depressed despite their achievements,”

It is this desolation something like Hansel and Gretel lost in the woods trying to make some kind of meaning to their situation. The feeling that maybe nothing better can ever happen. I am an average person and this happened to me just a little while ago. Isn't this happening with everyone else as well???......... isn't it clear why more and more people are folding in the realms of the god men and spiritual leaders or downright declaring themselves as atheists??? Isn't our social structure crumbling??? Are we becoming more and more jealous of each other or un-tolerant of each other that we cant support each other??? Or are we so nuclear today that something or anything that does not happen to just our loved ones does not concern us???

I am not justifying their act just trying to find a reason....... something of a closure. We cant judge them because we don't have their version of the story. Concluding with a saying from OSHO something my friend Dhir put up on his FB status:

‎"Make your life... Find out why you are feeling bored. Change. It is such a small life. Take risks, be a gambler -- what can you lose? We come with empty hands, we go with empty hands. There is nothing to lose. Just a little time to be playful, to sing a beautiful song, and the time is gone. Each moment is so precious. If you are silent, if you are creative, if you are loving, if you are sensitive to beauty, if you are grateful to this vast universe... There are millions of stars, which are dead -- and you are so small, yet you have the most precious thing in existence... LIFE. And not only life, but the possibility of becoming a consciousness, of becoming enlightened, of coming to a space where death has never entered." - OSHO

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Festivitie​s and what they mean to us

A long weekend for us in India and that too a weekend full of festivities: Rakshabandhan and Independence day.

Rakshabandhan is a celebration of the relationship between a brother and a sister. I don't have any brothers. Since I was little, I remember envying girls with brothers mostly for the gifts that they got on this day from their brothers and also the festivities that they got to be part of. Ma made us sisters, tie the rakhi, the holy thread of protection to God. I have done that for years since, but as I was growing older I also wished that I would have a "mushtanda" for a brother who would protect me and keep all other guys at bay. He would have to be really tall and very dark and evil looking something like Khalli, who would be sinister and of whom guys would get really scared of.

Those days the number of guys who wanted to be my brother grew in numbers, so much that I was really baffled whether I needed protection at all...... all of them were after all my "rakhi brothers". I should have felt safer with soooooo many brothers in tow but I was stupid because soon a month or so after that the brothers would want to become something totally different. "Pehle bhaiyya phir saiyya". The phenomenon of having rakhi brothers lost its meaning and I now needed serious protection from this new clan of never before known to me "rakhi brothers". A problem that I had created by my own self.

The festival is not to blame. The stories attached to the festival of rakshabandhan depict the love between a brother and sister and the sanctity of the relationship where the brother promises love and protection to his sister. It is the opportunists like the so called brothers of mine who have marred it. In future I saw a lot of these rakhi brothers and sisters get married with the happily ever after but the sanctity of the relation was lost to me. I do not believe in having "rakhi brothers" anymore and I still meticulously tie rakhis only to the idols of Gods.

My doctor who is the youngest of five sisters told me one day that she didn't celebrate the festival as she didn't have a brother and her husband didn't have sisters and her daughter did not have a brother. When asked about "rakhi brothers" she says "They all disappeared after I got married."

August 15th is the day when after 200 years of oppression and lakhs and lakhs of known and unknown sacrifices we finally got independent of the British regime. Our grandfathers, great grandfathers and great great grandfathers have borne the brunt and it is after their selfless sacrifices that today we live a life of saying what we want, doing what we want, going where we want, etc etc. We live in a secular, part socialist, part capitalist, democratic nation and to reach here we have striven hard. How many countries in the world can claim to do what we have done in a span of 64 years? Which country of our size and stature can claim to be as liberal as we are? Yet we choose to ignore all of this.

Years ago we made a tryst with destiny and awoke to life and freedom and 64 yrs later what have we made of it: Corruption at every stage, Terrorism, Illiteracy, Poverty, Female infanticide, child marriage, deforestation, pollution, Crime against women and children to name a few. Our grandfathers left us a legacy of freedom what are we going to leave our children?

Patriotism has now found a new meaning...... cricket matches!!! Is that the only time when we feel for our country? Why should our own people find solace in other countries..... why should they feel safer elsewhere other than in their own home???

What do these festivities mean to us??? An extended weekend means holidays, shopping, picnics. Most people I know are planning a holiday someplace or the other. The meaning of festivals is rapidly changing so is the social structure. I think that the whole social structure on which we were so proud of is slowly crumbling and giving way to so called bohemian thinking. We no longer wish to eradicate evils but are learning to live with them. The acceptance that we were so proud of is now taking a whole new meaning and we are learning to live with evils that our society has created.

We need to go back to our roots and uproot things from where they got wrong. Refuse to be held at ransom to evils because it is the easy way out. A revolution is the need for the day. A revolution like the ones our grandfathers brought about......... only this one to eliminate and cleanse the evils from our society.

Since time unknown we have a legacy of compassion and tolerance. We need to weed out the undesirable elements from the society and put them through a correction program rather than eliminating them thereby cleaning the evil and not the doer of the evil. We really need to show more respect for the festivities as they are: like spending a few moments thinking about things that one can make right however meager it may be and refusing to be held at ransom by any evil. I know that one person making a change will not change anything....... but it will. There is always a chain reaction to everything u do and it will come back to you somehow....... remember a few lines

hum akele chale the janibe manzil
log saath aate rahe karvaan banta gaya.....

Why not for a change give a new meaning to these days and do something our country will be proud of??? Why not give a new meaning to these holidays??? Why not contribute in our own small way just a thought, a small action is all that is required with our kind of population can u imagine what can happen if everyone does their own very very minuscule bit of change!!!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011